I was in a virtual meeting awhile back and a disagreement turned into disrespect. I’m not sure if the individual realized her tone but it reshaped both my opinion of her as an individual and my desire to work with her as a teammate.

In that moment I fought the urge to snap back with profanities and an invitation to meet me outside, actually I’m still struggling with wanting to square up with her – let me pray on this!

Anyway, no one corrected the incident of disrespect which lead me to question the loyalties of the team. The sight of seeing hashtag family in group messages doesn’t stimulate warmth and fuzziness as it once did. A blind eye turned to childlike behaviors of a grown woman annoyed me more than the original infraction.

I found myself mentally debating if I should continue to belong and fight to change the culture that’s become acceptable, or cut my losses and walk away.

As this mental meeting was taking place my physical being was angrily cleaning, which lead me to an old photo album. As I looked through the pages there were a multitude of images that reminded me why I choose to belong. Written on one of the pages were two phrases, “lead by example and others will follow” and “control wrath so not to be controlled”. I sat and reflected on that for a few moments.

As I’ve taken this journey through life the challenges of control have proven difficult. My emotions, my passion, my affection, and even my wrath flow freely from my lips. I’ve taught myself to hold some things in but still find myself working on letting go – this sounds familiar.

Let go Lisa, it’s ok to simply let go!