Today I snapped and yelled at a person that wasn’t the source of my frustration but was the closest to me at the moment my tolerance boiled over.

In that moment, which lasted too long, I became someone I didn’t like.

Transparency Alert: there is a side of me that’s short tempered, unforgiving, judgemental and opinionated. When that side comes out I will scream, curse, and say / do whatever it takes to ensure everyone within ear shot knows someone / something has irritated me.

Just as I began to develop signs of blood pressure elevation the following thought came to mind: “let he who has not sinned throw the first stone”. This replayed in my head until the anger and frustration were gone reminding me that at some point in time I’ve been the source of someone else’s irritation. I have surely done or said something that has caused another person to lose control of themselves and in my arrogance I expected that person to be ok with my actions.

Why would a person accept ugly behaviors from me and why should I accept such from someone else? The answer is quite simple, they shouldn’t and I shouldn’t – nor should I or anyone else use a bad day as justification for idiotic behaviors.

What if I adopt a mantra and recite it to myself throughout the course of my day – would that minimize the opportunity for frustration to build? Could I have my favorite song in a mental storage space to turn on when needed as a stress release? Better yet, can I fix my focus on the person I want to become giving no energy to the ugliness weaved into my character?

This thought doesn’t end with an at my best moment, because today I failed to be such. Instead, it ends with a couple of apologies – one is due to the undeserving person that I lashed out at and the other is due to myself for falling short of my expectations for myself.

Reset button activated!

Tomorrow I sing myself into a peaceful state of being.