Tag Archives: #taketimeforyourself

Thankful Grateful Blessed

Posted on by
Reply

I typically end my night with a variant of the following prayer: God thank you for allowing me another day. I’m unworthy of Your goodness but thankful because You’ve given me more time to get right. If it’s Your will that I see tomorrow I give thanks for that as well – if it’s not I ask forgiveness for all my wrongdoings and acceptance into Your kingdom, forevermore.

It was of His will that I awakened this morning and He placed some gentle signs of encouragement within my senses to let me know my prayers were heard.

The birds were singing a beautiful tune which indicated a new day. The sweet sound penetrated my hearing prior to my eyes opening – prior to the sun shining. A new day means new opportunities, and the celebration had already begun.

Raindrops were taping against my window, signaling that the wrongs of yesterday were washed away – today I have an opportunity to let right into my space, and return it to the atmosphere.

The wind was blowing through my window and circulating throughout my place of slumber. The place where my thoughts run rampant was being purified. I sat on my bed for a moment and simply inhaled the fresh air, filling my lungs – fueling my energy.

In the distance I heard the sound of an ambulance rushing to provide aide. In that moment I was reminded that while it was His will that I see today someone else – somewhere else did not receive the same fate.

I’m thankful for my today, with senses intact. I’m thankful for the birds, the raindrops, the wind, and the sirens. I’m thankful for new opportunities for myself and all who read this blog. I’m thankful for those that don’t know or don’t choose to support my thought sharing process. I’m thankful for those that will find fresh wind written within my words and gain new strength inside themselves. I’m thankful for family, friends, and enemies – all of which provide a source of encouragement. I’m thankful, I’m grateful, I’m blessed!

You Are Your Brand

Posted on by
1

I’ve always thought it appropriate to meet a person at their price point if they provide a product that I want or need. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been times that I couldn’t justify paying the asking price based on the content value offered and I’ve taken my business elsewhere but I did so without arguing the self valuation presented by the seller.

Truth be told, time spent trying to tell someone what their time and talent is worth is wasted. Taking things a step further, I’m soliciting their service because I’m not in possession of the ability to manufacture the goods myself.

I’ve spent some time thinking about relationships failed and had an ah ha moment. Each time I ended up with a broken heart it was the result of me devaluing myself for the purposes of being more desirable.

At some point in life what others thought of me became less important than what I thought of myself. My circle changed and I found myself drawn to people that simultaneously empowered me to want better while encouraging me to be better.

Portfolios became more important than parties, traveling became more of an interest than $2 Tuesdays, and I became deaf to cat calls from the crowd.

I also noticed my expectations changed. The urge of wanting to be desired was replaced by the need to be respected. A place where that need could not be met was a place I could not revel in.

A shift occurred and I began to reassess my worth. I no longer felt the need to discount myself so that I could belong and I stopped allowing others to convince me that my self valuation was too high.

We are each representatives of our individual brand! We have to perform a self analysis of our worth and that’s the valuation we need to present to the world. Someone will surely come into our life and cause us to question our asking price – can you discount yourself without having regrets later? If not allow them to shop somewhere else!

This is for the ladies

Posted on by
Reply

Somewhere along our journey we were taught that it’s improper to talk about female matters openly. THAT’S DUMB!

If those matters weren’t a secret I would have known years ago that my mother has cystic breast and maybe the process of finding a lump would not have terrified me to the point of tears. I shared everything I learned with anyone that would listen in hopes of providing a detour from panic attacks and anxiety.

There’s an image of my mammogram posted on social media with a plea to my female friends to take their breast health seriously. People can see my breast and identify my cyst so that if one ever appears on their images it won’t seem frighteningly foreign.

I know my body, I understand the triggers that cause my cyst to swell, and I can calculate approximately when they’ll be at their worst. I’m good – so I thought.

More recently, I’ve been told that I am premenopausal. I’ve been anxiously awaiting this process for years, not nervous but ready to embrace this next chapter. I was advised of the potential side effects: hot flashes, mood swings, weight gain, etc. I prepared a plan to cope and waited for the change to happen.

Several months into the premenopausal cycle I noticed my monthly became erratic . I transitioned from a 26 day routine to a 30, 37, 42 day routine. I was totally ok with that because I knew it meant menopause was closer.

Educational break: menopause has not been reached until you’ve gone without a menstrual cycle for 12 months straight. Menopause lasts for 1 day then you’re considered to be in the post menopausal phase.

After a few months I noticed a change in post period discharge and chalked it up to the fluctuations in cycle days. It wasn’t painful nor embarrassing – it just looked and smelled different. I made a mental note to mention it to my gynecologist and kept living my best life.

I’m 14 months into premenopause without having achieved a cycle free quarter, so that full year isn’t happening anytime soon. I have hot flashes, but they’re bearable. I’m a Sagittarius so mood swings come naturally and I love food so weight gain is expected. What wasn’t predicted was the drop in estrogen creating a rise in the vaginal ph level resulting in an overgrowth of bacteria.

That change in discharge that I noticed was caused by bacterial vaginosis (b.v.) B.V. is often characterized by a change in discharge and a not so fresh smell, sometimes fishy. It can clear by itself but for some women it requires treatment. Testing to confirm b.v. is painless and the results were available in a few days.

My gynecologist thought it best to prescribe a gel insert treatment and we’re hoping this isn’t my new norm until I reach menopause. If it is, there’s a long term plan for that as well, one that I’ll happily share if I need to cross that bridge.

My thought for tonight: let’s talk about our body. Let’s educate ourselves and others on the multitude of complications that exist within our temple. Suffering in silence doesn’t benefit us nor does it offer support to other women dealing with the same situation.

If you’ve noticed any changes in your body speak to a medical professional. YouTube University and Dr. Google can’t replace proper diagnosis and treatment – you’ll thank yourself later!

Giving ME all I need

Posted on by
Reply

“Ain’t no way for me to love you
If you won’t let me
It ain’t no way for me to give you all ya need
If you won’t let me give all of me” Aretha Franklin – “Ain’t No Way” – 1968

It’s amusing to me that a song released three years prior to my birth is on my top twenty five favorites list, but it is. It has become my anthem of understanding in an odd way and you might catch me singing the intro whenever I need to be reminded of my purpose.

Knowing a loved one is in the midst of a storm sends me a signal to throw on a cape and rush in to save the day, but what happens when they don’t want to be rescued? How can I fulfill my obligation to help when I’m being shut down and / or shut out?

My obligation?? Let’s think about that for a moment! How have the struggles someone else is enduring become my obligation to fix? Why have I placed that burden upon myself time and time again? Have the words I need you been spoken or is it assumed that because I have means my presence is requested? Who gave me the responsibility of being everything to everybody and who is obligated to keep me together?

Keeping myself together is obligatory! It’s required that I provide myself with nourishment and proper rest, among other things. Without that I can’t be all of me, nor will I be equipped to be any of what my loved one needs IF they call on me.

Putting myself first isn’t selfish, it’s simply a way of ensuring that when I offer myself to another person’s situation I am providing the best version of myself there is.

Understanding that I occasionally need time to myself has helped me appreciate when another person says they want to be alone, even when the urge to swoop in rages.

{exhale} Someone I adore is going through something heavy right now and has stated that they need time alone. I’m devastated for them but respect the space they’re in. I’ve found myself singing tonight…….