Tag Archives: #ResetButton

Stand

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“Tell me, how do you handle the guilt of your past?
Tell me, how do you deal with the shame?
And how can you smile while your heart has been broken
And filled with pain?” – Donnie McClurkin

This became one of my hype songs a few years ago when I was finding my way out of a situation. I was heavily in the midst of a “this is your fault” moment and punishing myself with a “you deserve it because” mindset when the song caught my attention.

I didn’t notice tears had began to stream down my face – I never turned the sound down but everything around me went silent – Other than a gentle rock back and forth I was unable to move.

In its entirety the song lasts approximately five minutes and twenty three seconds, that’s how long it took to cleanse myself of the hurt and pain I had been holding onto for too long.

In that moment I was dealing with “a” thing but unbeknownst to me a “bunch” of things had merged together and created “that” thing. It’s the “bunch” that I needed to let go of and the strength to do so came to me in the form of a melody.

Let me attempt to explain: have you ever given your best to someone who betrayed you, swore you’d never go through that with anyone else, then found yourself in a similar situation with someone else? – Stand!

Have you ever willingly participated in wrongdoing and came out unscathed but mentally battered? – Stand!

Have you ever lessened your self worth for the approval of someone else? – Stand!

Have you disappointed yourself in thought, word, or action? – Stand!

I look back on “that” thing and I have a testimony to tell (one day). I trust without a doubt that I’d be on a merry-go-round of actions and emotions if that moment had not occurred. I can’t explain why it happened when it did but I’m thankful for the cleansing.

Addiction, adultery, abuse, fornication, neglect, greed, illiteracy, failure to forgive…….. these are some of “the” things that form into “bunches”. These are the things that fester within us, poisoning our ability to love ourselves and others. These are the things we need to purge ourselves of so we can, so our children can, live life richly.

There’s a melody already written that will speak to your “thing”! Until it reaches your hearing, hold on …. or as the lyrics say, Stand!

You Are Your Brand

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I’ve always thought it appropriate to meet a person at their price point if they provide a product that I want or need. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been times that I couldn’t justify paying the asking price based on the content value offered and I’ve taken my business elsewhere but I did so without arguing the self valuation presented by the seller.

Truth be told, time spent trying to tell someone what their time and talent is worth is wasted. Taking things a step further, I’m soliciting their service because I’m not in possession of the ability to manufacture the goods myself.

I’ve spent some time thinking about relationships failed and had an ah ha moment. Each time I ended up with a broken heart it was the result of me devaluing myself for the purposes of being more desirable.

At some point in life what others thought of me became less important than what I thought of myself. My circle changed and I found myself drawn to people that simultaneously empowered me to want better while encouraging me to be better.

Portfolios became more important than parties, traveling became more of an interest than $2 Tuesdays, and I became deaf to cat calls from the crowd.

I also noticed my expectations changed. The urge of wanting to be desired was replaced by the need to be respected. A place where that need could not be met was a place I could not revel in.

A shift occurred and I began to reassess my worth. I no longer felt the need to discount myself so that I could belong and I stopped allowing others to convince me that my self valuation was too high.

We are each representatives of our individual brand! We have to perform a self analysis of our worth and that’s the valuation we need to present to the world. Someone will surely come into our life and cause us to question our asking price – can you discount yourself without having regrets later? If not allow them to shop somewhere else!

Go Ahead and Be Great

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I’d argue that “Let me be great” is one of the most asinine pronouncements of independence an adult could ever make.

Think about everytime you’ve heard the declaration, was the great one trying to explain away a dumb action on their part? Were they convincing themselves that the wrongdoing they were engaged in was a minor infraction? Were they hoping you’d bow down in submission to their every day average behavior?

Do you ever hear the people that are doing great things boast about their superiority? Dr. Ala Stanford, and the Black Doctor’s Covid-19 Consortium, arguably could be a forerunner for a humanitarian award – her every press conference is focused on the work still left to be done. She is being great!

Stacey Abrams was robbed of an election victory. She turned her defeat into a platform that changed the political climate of Georgia for years to come. We, the people, speak about how bad ass she is – she speaks of the need to not become complacent. She is being great!

Aisha Drayton loss her son because a punk with a gun decided to come to her home and kill him. She poured her grief into creating I’s Visision, a foundation in his memory, and now provides fundamental services to children in need. She is being great!

If you’re out here being great is there a track record / resume that affirms your eminence or is your metric based upon the number of designer items you possess?

I currently reside in a city plagued by violence. Homicide rates are on track to be the highest we’ve ever seen and a huge number of the victims haven’t reached adulthood. I can’t claim greatness while families around me are struggling to cope and I have nothing to offer. Somewhere in the midst of this darkness is a phoenix yet to be realized – that person will be great!

Greatness is within each of us! Let’s put it in action so others will see our works – I dare you to!

The truth will find you

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I had a friend once, the perfect relationship it was. Peas in the pod is what they called us and you rarely saw one without the other. We traveled along our joyful journey together until one day the road came to an end.

Things were done which resulted in words being said that forever changed the magnitude of the friendship. While we remained friendly the strain of the infraction changed the perception I had of my friend so I abandoned the pod.

When others learned of the friendship failed they, without hesitation, shared “I don’t know how you” stories. Some had tales from days long ago while others simply saw the friendship as being one sided from its beginning. None previously expressed their dislike of my friend, but once the opportunity presented itself there were no feelings withheld.

The love of my life shared a story of this friend of mine being overly friendly once. According to him this incident took place during an event I brought her to – and it was far too uncomfortable for him to tell me. He never knew the specifics of the incident that caused the friendship to dissolve but his confession placed him in a position of suspicion.

In a drunken rage my friend made some eyebrow raising confessions. I never had doubts about what she’d done – I never cared why she did it – and I did’nt want to know who, until the moment that my love spoke his approval of the friendship ending “because she”.

The dynamics that resulted in my friendship ending, the exact situation she blurted out, the grimy and backstabbing incident that forever changed my perception of her was also his because.

I never went looking for who……it came to me!

In life things are revealed to us in due time, not necessarily our time. We don’t have to play detective, there’s no need to set up surveillance, all we need to do is walk heartfelt and intentional steps.

The sting of having to walk away from my love hurt less because the pain was absorbed the day the pea pod split.

Praise Break!

I was a friend once, the perfect friend I was – and that I will continue to be! Be careful not to transfer punishment, onto yourself or others. Grant the guilty party freedom from your life so that you can live.

Head of the Table

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I wore a brand item of my favorite WWE wrestler today. It’s a black shirt with white letters and the slogan “Head of the Table” I posted a picture of myself captioned “few will get it” without providing additional details.

Two people outright told me they didn’t get it and asked what it referenced, my response was to send them a picture of Roman Reigns wearing his signature shirt. Someone else joked of me being out of pocket (refer to Urban Dictionary if you don’t know what that means). Not one person commented of the strength of the statement.

Roman is the head of his family – the alpha dog if you will. He’s faster, stronger and the most popular at THIS time. I place emphasis on “this” because Roman comes from a long line of wrestlers. You may not follow WWE but I’m sure you’ve heard of his cousin Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

In addition to being a crowd favorite turned villain, Roman is also a survivor! He stepped away from wrestling a couple of years ago to make his health a priority and came back even stronger after beating his biggest opponent, leukemia.

In addition to all of that, the man is perfectly created – but that has nothing to do with this story.

This is about his brand slogan and why I am drawn to it. “Head of the Table” speaks to me. It screams accountability and provision. It shouts consideration and preparation. It also whispers brother’s / sister’s keeper.

When it comes to my life I am the final answer regarding my time (unless my mother overrides). If I eat no one with me will go hungry and anything at my disposal is shared freely with those in my village.

A few years ago I was at a Dunkin Donuts and a homeless woman asked me for money. I told her I wouldn’t give her cash but she could order something from the menu and I’d pay for it. She ordered the most expensive item on the menu, which honestly caused me to raise an eyebrow, but I said I’d pay for it and I did. Upon leaving the store I noticed her go behind a trash dumpster and from my car I saw her distributing the food to two children. At that moment I did what the “head of the table” would do and went back into the store and ordered another meal so that she too could eat.

Accountability and Provision – Consideration and Preparation are mindsets! To be your brother’s / sister’s keeper is a responsibility. I wear Roman’s shirt as a fan but its meaning is so much more!

Self Analysis

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Several years ago I completed a “Spiritual Gift Analysis”. The results helped me to understand myself and provided confirmation in areas where self doubt existed.

Simply Lisa is about inspiring, encouraging, and strengthening ourselves as individuals so we can be an asset to others. Tonight instead of thoughts I’m sharing a link. Complete the survey, reflect on the results, and consider ways to intentionally incorporate your “gift” into daily practice.

Spiritual Gifts Survey

Apologetically Flawed

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Today I snapped and yelled at a person that wasn’t the source of my frustration but was the closest to me at the moment my tolerance boiled over.

In that moment, which lasted too long, I became someone I didn’t like.

Transparency Alert: there is a side of me that’s short tempered, unforgiving, judgemental and opinionated. When that side comes out I will scream, curse, and say / do whatever it takes to ensure everyone within ear shot knows someone / something has irritated me.

Just as I began to develop signs of blood pressure elevation the following thought came to mind: “let he who has not sinned throw the first stone”. This replayed in my head until the anger and frustration were gone reminding me that at some point in time I’ve been the source of someone else’s irritation. I have surely done or said something that has caused another person to lose control of themselves and in my arrogance I expected that person to be ok with my actions.

Why would a person accept ugly behaviors from me and why should I accept such from someone else? The answer is quite simple, they shouldn’t and I shouldn’t – nor should I or anyone else use a bad day as justification for idiotic behaviors.

What if I adopt a mantra and recite it to myself throughout the course of my day – would that minimize the opportunity for frustration to build? Could I have my favorite song in a mental storage space to turn on when needed as a stress release? Better yet, can I fix my focus on the person I want to become giving no energy to the ugliness weaved into my character?

This thought doesn’t end with an at my best moment, because today I failed to be such. Instead, it ends with a couple of apologies – one is due to the undeserving person that I lashed out at and the other is due to myself for falling short of my expectations for myself.

Reset button activated!

Tomorrow I sing myself into a peaceful state of being.