Tag Archives: #loveoneanother

Urgent Reminder

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I need to remind myself of a few things this evening ……..

1) Bring the best version of yourself to every situation – there’s no guarantee you’ll be received with open arms but you’ll walk away with no regrets.

2) Don’t hesitate to give up anything or anyone that causes you to question your worth.

3) There are a lot of broken people with good intentions, don’t allow everyone to pour into you.

3.1) The person / place / or thing that leaves you feeling inspired is what / who you should gravitate towards.

3.2) The person / place / or thing that leaves you mentally drained shouldn’t have a permanent position at your table.

4) Your bad days are temporary, don’t exist within those moments long term.

5) you are more than enough! You are more than enough! YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!

I tend to get inside of my own head when something isn’t going right. I’ve learned that my sanity rests within the narrative of my thoughts – so anytime I’m feeling mentally overwhelmed I recite positive affirmations to encourage myself. In talking with a friend recently I was asked “why not encourage yourself before there’s trouble on the horizon?” – Great idea!

Understanding

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While perusing social media today I came across an article discussing the murder of Daunte Wright. The focal point of the story was the resignation of the officer that shot him and the investigation into how the “deadly accident” occurred.

I have a habit of going through the comments after reading a post – it’s my belief that they afford me a glimpse into the mindset of people from varying backgrounds. There’s so much more to the world than the Philly state of mind – ha, that’s funny considering………..

Stepping away from the feelings of an angry black woman for a moment, I can vehemently state that my heart breaks for the mother grieving the loss of her child! The death is devastating for her – the circumstances surrounding the loss are unbearable. While her heart is shattered into pieces, the bloodshed of her son has sparked debates on if he should have resisted and if his record justified the shooting.

Disclaimer: it is my belief that no one should ever be pulled over for a traffic violation and end up dead! If this statement bothers you my thought tonight isn’t for you!

In recent months we’ve seen a mass shooting in Georgia and another in Colorado, in both instances the shooters were apprehended. In the not so distant past we’ve had people killed in churches, and again arrest were made. We’ve also seen a marathon bombed, and yup another arrest – but for some odd reason traffic stops keep ending in murder?!….

I want to understand, but not at the expense of a grieving family. I want to understand, but not at the expense of riots and city wide destruction. I want to understand, but not at the expense of accepting this as a way of life.

One of the comments I read said: Daunte had an outstanding warrant for a gun charge, knowing the threat the police reacted accordingly.  I questioned if the outstanding warrant was a threat – because a cop was killed in Colorado and the killer was arrested. I want to understand!

Another comment spoke to police being human and possessing a degree of fear that makes them vulnerable – I’d imagine the insurgence on the Capitol being a tense situation. I want to understand!

I get it! I know why I don’t understand!My level of understanding is compromised by the lack of understanding shown towards life loss, black lives loss. This can’t be life and until change is realized, I will never understand!

Focus On Hope

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Fear: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger (Merriam-Webster.Com)

As I watched the opening statements of the trial against Derek Chauvin a sense of fear invaded my happy space.

This fear is embedded in the reality that the justice system has continually failed to return a guilty verdict in spite of recorded evidence going viral for the world to see.

This fear is fueled by the sound of explosives in the night, weeks after the world witnessed the horrific video of a man pinned to the ground with a knee to his neck.

This fear feeds off the memories of justified protest against the system turning into a reason for that system to fearfully react.

This fear grows stronger as I think about the neighborhoods robbed of their peace because opportunist saw this murder, another murder, as a reason to destroy.

This fear is present because I know an acquittal will ignite the rage within those looking for a reason – I also know that a guilty verdict indicates a shift is occurring and those on the losing end are more dangerous than the former.

Eight minutes 46 seconds has become the match to a flame – much like “I can’t breathe”, and “We don’t need you to follow him” – Traffic stops, playgrounds, and the confines of our home have become easily accessible fuel.

Fear is knowing in advance there isn’t a positive outcome to a system failure, but having no control.

“HOPE IS THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN FEAR” – Robert Ludlum

My thought for tonight: “…. faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV”

Focus on hope!

Let’s talk about anxiety

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This platform is a means of sharing my thoughts, and I often find myself thinking of other people. Since taking the step of starting this blog my prayer has consistently been that the words I share will help someone else become a better version of themselves.

There are a lot of conditions plaguing the community that have been labeled taboo to talk about. Because of this stigma people are suffering in silence. This has to end!

According to the “Anxiety and Depression Association of America” 40 million adults in the United States suffer from anxiety. Why aren’t we talking about this?

I asked a friend to share her story of living with anxiety. I sent her questions that she could answer at her own pace, which I will share with you all. She completed the questionnaire in one night and text me that putting her faults on paper was overwhelming. I can’t tell you how proud I am of her for sharing – today we talk about the elephant in the room!

Q) How does living with anxiety feel?

A) Living with anxiety is going throughout the day doubting myself, my actions, and my words. It’s feeling that I cannot live up to expectations others have of me. I feel like my every thought is being judged and my every action is being critiqued. I’m always waiting for the worst case scenario. I feel like I can never truly be happy nor do I deserve to be happy. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, then I feel guilty for feeling this way. 

Q) What has your worst day felt like and what triggered it?

A) To pinpoint my worst day is difficult to do. My anxiety presents itself during any given moment of the day – anything can trigger a bad moment. When I have my bad moments it can feel like anything and everything agitates me! Something complex like a project that I’m working on isn’t turning out the way I want it to or something as simple as there’s too much chatter surrounding me can trigger my anxiety. I’ll then get more agitated because I want to sit in silence and can’t understand how people can just go on as normal, when I feel the way I do, unable to understand or unwilling to care.

Q) What methods of coping help you?

A) My ability to cope is different every time: it could be turning on music, or starting up a conversation on something totally different, playing a game on my phone, and even throwing myself into my work. To feel I have accomplished something helps with some part of my anxiety, there’s a sense of peace in knowing that I’ve made a difference to someone.

Q) What do you want people to know about anxiety?

A) ANXIETY HURTS! It hurts in ways both physical and mental. The tension throughout your body makes you feel like a big rubber band – or it settles in one part of your body. In some people it feels like they are having a heart attack, for me it hurts my brain and my soul. Telling someone to “relax” when they are dealing with anxiety does not help – I want to wind down and worry less, but I can’t. If it were as easy as just relaxing don’t you think I would. 

Q) What has anxiety limited you from doing?

A) Anxiety has limited my ability to speak my mind, and has robbed me of confidence. It makes me feel I cannot be at ease in some situations, cause I’m afraid that people will judge me. Maybe I would have a different life if I didn’t feel so limited in myself. 

Q) Where have you found strength:

A) My strength is my son! He is the reason I get up, I work, I live. I know I will need more, especially as he starts exploring life on his own. As he gets older he’ll need me less and I will need to find the strength in me for me. 

If you are dealing with anxiety please know that you’re not alone in the struggle. There is help available: go to adaa.org for information or contact your healthcare provider. You deserve happiness!

Kristi, you are a ROCKSTAR and your breakthrough is on the horizon. You are more than enough and sharing your story will help someone else through theirs. I’m one of your biggest supporters, yesterday-today-tomorrow.

Go Ahead and Be Great

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I’d argue that “Let me be great” is one of the most asinine pronouncements of independence an adult could ever make.

Think about everytime you’ve heard the declaration, was the great one trying to explain away a dumb action on their part? Were they convincing themselves that the wrongdoing they were engaged in was a minor infraction? Were they hoping you’d bow down in submission to their every day average behavior?

Do you ever hear the people that are doing great things boast about their superiority? Dr. Ala Stanford, and the Black Doctor’s Covid-19 Consortium, arguably could be a forerunner for a humanitarian award – her every press conference is focused on the work still left to be done. She is being great!

Stacey Abrams was robbed of an election victory. She turned her defeat into a platform that changed the political climate of Georgia for years to come. We, the people, speak about how bad ass she is – she speaks of the need to not become complacent. She is being great!

Aisha Drayton loss her son because a punk with a gun decided to come to her home and kill him. She poured her grief into creating I’s Visision, a foundation in his memory, and now provides fundamental services to children in need. She is being great!

If you’re out here being great is there a track record / resume that affirms your eminence or is your metric based upon the number of designer items you possess?

I currently reside in a city plagued by violence. Homicide rates are on track to be the highest we’ve ever seen and a huge number of the victims haven’t reached adulthood. I can’t claim greatness while families around me are struggling to cope and I have nothing to offer. Somewhere in the midst of this darkness is a phoenix yet to be realized – that person will be great!

Greatness is within each of us! Let’s put it in action so others will see our works – I dare you to!

The truth will find you

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I had a friend once, the perfect relationship it was. Peas in the pod is what they called us and you rarely saw one without the other. We traveled along our joyful journey together until one day the road came to an end.

Things were done which resulted in words being said that forever changed the magnitude of the friendship. While we remained friendly the strain of the infraction changed the perception I had of my friend so I abandoned the pod.

When others learned of the friendship failed they, without hesitation, shared “I don’t know how you” stories. Some had tales from days long ago while others simply saw the friendship as being one sided from its beginning. None previously expressed their dislike of my friend, but once the opportunity presented itself there were no feelings withheld.

The love of my life shared a story of this friend of mine being overly friendly once. According to him this incident took place during an event I brought her to – and it was far too uncomfortable for him to tell me. He never knew the specifics of the incident that caused the friendship to dissolve but his confession placed him in a position of suspicion.

In a drunken rage my friend made some eyebrow raising confessions. I never had doubts about what she’d done – I never cared why she did it – and I did’nt want to know who, until the moment that my love spoke his approval of the friendship ending “because she”.

The dynamics that resulted in my friendship ending, the exact situation she blurted out, the grimy and backstabbing incident that forever changed my perception of her was also his because.

I never went looking for who……it came to me!

In life things are revealed to us in due time, not necessarily our time. We don’t have to play detective, there’s no need to set up surveillance, all we need to do is walk heartfelt and intentional steps.

The sting of having to walk away from my love hurt less because the pain was absorbed the day the pea pod split.

Praise Break!

I was a friend once, the perfect friend I was – and that I will continue to be! Be careful not to transfer punishment, onto yourself or others. Grant the guilty party freedom from your life so that you can live.

The Recipe of Love

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A listening ear: emphatically attached to the needs of loved ones while tuned in to the outside world listening for the sound of harm in the bushes.

A shoulder to cry on: during the good and the bad that life offers – broad enough for the troubles of the world yet gentle enough to absorb every tear.

A kind word: perfectly formulated to build and encourage yet skillfully trained to defend when all other defenses fail.

A gentle touch: it speaks the perfect combination of comfort, support, and encouragement without the need to converse.

A smile: it’s warm and welcoming! When perfectly timed it convinces the world that all is well.

Eyes: they tell the stories buried deep within, that’s where the essence of a person is stored. Every truth, every emotion, every like and dislike- the eyes speak what the lips won’t.

Peace: inhale it, fill your lungs with it and exhale it into the atmosphere. This is the secret ingredient in the recipe of love!

I’ve saved a seat at the table for you – come dine with me!