I recall friendships as far back as my teenage years. I’ll categorize myself as being lucky because I’m halfway through adulthood and the love between myself and the majority of those individuals still exist.

There’s one particular friendship that started off quite rocky – in actuality I don’t know how we made it this far without killing one another and truth be told you can’t leave us together too long now without there being an arguement or two. Having said that, there’s nothing within my power that I won’t do to help her and I trust that to be reciprocal.

The pandemic hasn’t been kind to her, it actually wouldn’t be extreme to say she’s been through hell and spends everyday fighting to find her way back to normalcy.  This edition of “Let’s talk about” focuses on Erica C. McLean (Ricky): a proud member of Woodcrest United Church of Christ, a retired teacher, and a Godmom / Auntie to many.

To begin with allow me to share with you the medical conditions Ricky lives with on a daily basis: Fibromyalgia, Lipo Lymphedema, Morbid Obesity, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Hypertension, Sciatica, Migraines, and ADHD. This is important because it’s a major contributor to her most recent diagnosis which presented itself in 2020.

As the constant report of people dying from Covid-19 complications played on our airwaves Ricky was forced to accept that she was at risk due to multiple comorbidities. This realization resulted in her isolating herself in her home, alone – it also created a space for anxiety to seep in – a space she has been unable to escape from for the past fifteen months.

About six months ago I started receiving hand written letters in the mail from my friend. They’d come once a month and include show / music recommendations, words of positive affirmation in regards to my brand, drawings, and whatever else was on Ricky’s heart / mind. She doesn’t know this yet but I cried when I got the first letter, partly because I’m now on the hook to write back (which I haven’t done yet) and partly because those conversations we once had around food and drinks is limited to paper and pen because fear keeps her from leaving her home.

I’ve heard of agoraphobia in the past but needed more knowledge in order to understand why the dynamics of my friendship changed. I needed to know if there was something I could do to help her through this, other than going to her house and snatching her out kicking and screaming- which was my first thought.

Once she became transparent I learned that she’s already working with a mental health provider in addition to her health team and writing letters are a part of maintaining contact with loved ones. She’s fighting and it’s my job to be ringside for every round, that’s the best source of support I can provide.

I asked my friend to share a few thoughts on her current status, these are her words:

Please check on your family, friends and neighbors. Black and Brown People, it is okay to get counseling /
therapy. Even in the pandemic I have been Zooming my Doctors, and Church Activities. I Facetime family and friends, I journal daily, I read the Bible more. Our church has a prayer group twice a week. Still be active in life while you are fixing your life. I may not be able to step outside my house right now, but I have stepped out of my comfort zone in other ways. I am learning new skills for when I get my
anxiety level controlled and can physically enter back into society.