Tag Archives: #joyandhappiness

My brother Elliott

Posted on by
2

On yesterday my brother and his wife renewed their wedding vows. During the ceremony he took a moment to acknowledge individuals that were present for their first ceremony that have since passed away, my father being one of them.

His words weren’t elaborate but caused an outpouring of tearful emotions.

My brother isn’t blood but the love I have for him couldn’t be any stronger if he were. He’s the little boy across the street from my house that grew an attachment to my daddy. There was never a moment when my sister nor I questioned why he was around, his presence was actually a relief because there was only so much CNN and government a daughter wants to hear and our limit was exceeded daily.

I’ll never know the depth of their relationship but I’m certain it was that of a father and son. In fact in his own words, my father had been an example of what a man is and should be.

As I sat and cried yesterday my heart broke for the now man, husband, father that stood before me. Who he is serves as a reminder of who my father was, and that’s a good man, a family man.

I’m a doting daughter and a proud sister. I’m a woman who was raised by a man that loved her enough to teach her the concept of a village – it was never about “just us” when someone in need surrounded us. I’m thankful for the opportunity to watch the love “Mr. C” poured into my brother flourish.

You’re holding the torch now Elliott, and judging from what I saw yesterday you’re doing a mighty fine job! Today as I reflect on daddy’s birthday I thank you for remembering, for honoring, and for emulating his greatness.

Focus On Hope

Posted on by
Reply

Fear: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger (Merriam-Webster.Com)

As I watched the opening statements of the trial against Derek Chauvin a sense of fear invaded my happy space.

This fear is embedded in the reality that the justice system has continually failed to return a guilty verdict in spite of recorded evidence going viral for the world to see.

This fear is fueled by the sound of explosives in the night, weeks after the world witnessed the horrific video of a man pinned to the ground with a knee to his neck.

This fear feeds off the memories of justified protest against the system turning into a reason for that system to fearfully react.

This fear grows stronger as I think about the neighborhoods robbed of their peace because opportunist saw this murder, another murder, as a reason to destroy.

This fear is present because I know an acquittal will ignite the rage within those looking for a reason – I also know that a guilty verdict indicates a shift is occurring and those on the losing end are more dangerous than the former.

Eight minutes 46 seconds has become the match to a flame – much like “I can’t breathe”, and “We don’t need you to follow him” – Traffic stops, playgrounds, and the confines of our home have become easily accessible fuel.

Fear is knowing in advance there isn’t a positive outcome to a system failure, but having no control.

“HOPE IS THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN FEAR” – Robert Ludlum

My thought for tonight: “…. faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV”

Focus on hope!

Let’s talk about anxiety

Posted on by
Reply

This platform is a means of sharing my thoughts, and I often find myself thinking of other people. Since taking the step of starting this blog my prayer has consistently been that the words I share will help someone else become a better version of themselves.

There are a lot of conditions plaguing the community that have been labeled taboo to talk about. Because of this stigma people are suffering in silence. This has to end!

According to the “Anxiety and Depression Association of America” 40 million adults in the United States suffer from anxiety. Why aren’t we talking about this?

I asked a friend to share her story of living with anxiety. I sent her questions that she could answer at her own pace, which I will share with you all. She completed the questionnaire in one night and text me that putting her faults on paper was overwhelming. I can’t tell you how proud I am of her for sharing – today we talk about the elephant in the room!

Q) How does living with anxiety feel?

A) Living with anxiety is going throughout the day doubting myself, my actions, and my words. It’s feeling that I cannot live up to expectations others have of me. I feel like my every thought is being judged and my every action is being critiqued. I’m always waiting for the worst case scenario. I feel like I can never truly be happy nor do I deserve to be happy. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, then I feel guilty for feeling this way. 

Q) What has your worst day felt like and what triggered it?

A) To pinpoint my worst day is difficult to do. My anxiety presents itself during any given moment of the day – anything can trigger a bad moment. When I have my bad moments it can feel like anything and everything agitates me! Something complex like a project that I’m working on isn’t turning out the way I want it to or something as simple as there’s too much chatter surrounding me can trigger my anxiety. I’ll then get more agitated because I want to sit in silence and can’t understand how people can just go on as normal, when I feel the way I do, unable to understand or unwilling to care.

Q) What methods of coping help you?

A) My ability to cope is different every time: it could be turning on music, or starting up a conversation on something totally different, playing a game on my phone, and even throwing myself into my work. To feel I have accomplished something helps with some part of my anxiety, there’s a sense of peace in knowing that I’ve made a difference to someone.

Q) What do you want people to know about anxiety?

A) ANXIETY HURTS! It hurts in ways both physical and mental. The tension throughout your body makes you feel like a big rubber band – or it settles in one part of your body. In some people it feels like they are having a heart attack, for me it hurts my brain and my soul. Telling someone to “relax” when they are dealing with anxiety does not help – I want to wind down and worry less, but I can’t. If it were as easy as just relaxing don’t you think I would. 

Q) What has anxiety limited you from doing?

A) Anxiety has limited my ability to speak my mind, and has robbed me of confidence. It makes me feel I cannot be at ease in some situations, cause I’m afraid that people will judge me. Maybe I would have a different life if I didn’t feel so limited in myself. 

Q) Where have you found strength:

A) My strength is my son! He is the reason I get up, I work, I live. I know I will need more, especially as he starts exploring life on his own. As he gets older he’ll need me less and I will need to find the strength in me for me. 

If you are dealing with anxiety please know that you’re not alone in the struggle. There is help available: go to adaa.org for information or contact your healthcare provider. You deserve happiness!

Kristi, you are a ROCKSTAR and your breakthrough is on the horizon. You are more than enough and sharing your story will help someone else through theirs. I’m one of your biggest supporters, yesterday-today-tomorrow.

Trials of the Heart

Posted on by
Reply

You’re hearby sworn in and the court is ready to hear your testimony. Remember the verdict isn’t final and the condition of your heart may be damaged, temporarily.

Excess time spent together suggests your presence is appreciated but is that merely minutes wasted? Are there episodes of laughter hours long or is there silence lingering within the bond seconds at a time?

Are you prone to give your all without expectation only to be left wondering if a caring heart can continually accept without giving anything in return?

Have you clearly declared your desire for someone with sincerity, but it feels as if they’re so cold to affection that they can’t embrace your truth – will they not allow themselves to be the chosen one?

Oh, the chosen one….. is that where the problem lies? Would being the needed one make the relationship easier to navigate? Could you relying on them for your sense of being make time move at a heartbeats pace?

Actions speak louder than words…….or do they? This is one of those grey areas that often times require more than a quick verdict. The case has been presented for consideration………

all evidence has been reviewed…..

and the verdict, go with what you feel, your gut will never lead you down the wrong path. Trust yourself to be strong enough, even when it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Lastly, love yourself unconditionally – that’s how you’ll heal a damaged heart.

The truth will find you

Posted on by
2

I had a friend once, the perfect relationship it was. Peas in the pod is what they called us and you rarely saw one without the other. We traveled along our joyful journey together until one day the road came to an end.

Things were done which resulted in words being said that forever changed the magnitude of the friendship. While we remained friendly the strain of the infraction changed the perception I had of my friend so I abandoned the pod.

When others learned of the friendship failed they, without hesitation, shared “I don’t know how you” stories. Some had tales from days long ago while others simply saw the friendship as being one sided from its beginning. None previously expressed their dislike of my friend, but once the opportunity presented itself there were no feelings withheld.

The love of my life shared a story of this friend of mine being overly friendly once. According to him this incident took place during an event I brought her to – and it was far too uncomfortable for him to tell me. He never knew the specifics of the incident that caused the friendship to dissolve but his confession placed him in a position of suspicion.

In a drunken rage my friend made some eyebrow raising confessions. I never had doubts about what she’d done – I never cared why she did it – and I did’nt want to know who, until the moment that my love spoke his approval of the friendship ending “because she”.

The dynamics that resulted in my friendship ending, the exact situation she blurted out, the grimy and backstabbing incident that forever changed my perception of her was also his because.

I never went looking for who……it came to me!

In life things are revealed to us in due time, not necessarily our time. We don’t have to play detective, there’s no need to set up surveillance, all we need to do is walk heartfelt and intentional steps.

The sting of having to walk away from my love hurt less because the pain was absorbed the day the pea pod split.

Praise Break!

I was a friend once, the perfect friend I was – and that I will continue to be! Be careful not to transfer punishment, onto yourself or others. Grant the guilty party freedom from your life so that you can live.

The Recipe of Love

Posted on by
Reply

A listening ear: emphatically attached to the needs of loved ones while tuned in to the outside world listening for the sound of harm in the bushes.

A shoulder to cry on: during the good and the bad that life offers – broad enough for the troubles of the world yet gentle enough to absorb every tear.

A kind word: perfectly formulated to build and encourage yet skillfully trained to defend when all other defenses fail.

A gentle touch: it speaks the perfect combination of comfort, support, and encouragement without the need to converse.

A smile: it’s warm and welcoming! When perfectly timed it convinces the world that all is well.

Eyes: they tell the stories buried deep within, that’s where the essence of a person is stored. Every truth, every emotion, every like and dislike- the eyes speak what the lips won’t.

Peace: inhale it, fill your lungs with it and exhale it into the atmosphere. This is the secret ingredient in the recipe of love!

I’ve saved a seat at the table for you – come dine with me!

Head of the Table

Posted on by
Reply

I wore a brand item of my favorite WWE wrestler today. It’s a black shirt with white letters and the slogan “Head of the Table” I posted a picture of myself captioned “few will get it” without providing additional details.

Two people outright told me they didn’t get it and asked what it referenced, my response was to send them a picture of Roman Reigns wearing his signature shirt. Someone else joked of me being out of pocket (refer to Urban Dictionary if you don’t know what that means). Not one person commented of the strength of the statement.

Roman is the head of his family – the alpha dog if you will. He’s faster, stronger and the most popular at THIS time. I place emphasis on “this” because Roman comes from a long line of wrestlers. You may not follow WWE but I’m sure you’ve heard of his cousin Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

In addition to being a crowd favorite turned villain, Roman is also a survivor! He stepped away from wrestling a couple of years ago to make his health a priority and came back even stronger after beating his biggest opponent, leukemia.

In addition to all of that, the man is perfectly created – but that has nothing to do with this story.

This is about his brand slogan and why I am drawn to it. “Head of the Table” speaks to me. It screams accountability and provision. It shouts consideration and preparation. It also whispers brother’s / sister’s keeper.

When it comes to my life I am the final answer regarding my time (unless my mother overrides). If I eat no one with me will go hungry and anything at my disposal is shared freely with those in my village.

A few years ago I was at a Dunkin Donuts and a homeless woman asked me for money. I told her I wouldn’t give her cash but she could order something from the menu and I’d pay for it. She ordered the most expensive item on the menu, which honestly caused me to raise an eyebrow, but I said I’d pay for it and I did. Upon leaving the store I noticed her go behind a trash dumpster and from my car I saw her distributing the food to two children. At that moment I did what the “head of the table” would do and went back into the store and ordered another meal so that she too could eat.

Accountability and Provision – Consideration and Preparation are mindsets! To be your brother’s / sister’s keeper is a responsibility. I wear Roman’s shirt as a fan but its meaning is so much more!

Self Analysis

Posted on by
Reply

Several years ago I completed a “Spiritual Gift Analysis”. The results helped me to understand myself and provided confirmation in areas where self doubt existed.

Simply Lisa is about inspiring, encouraging, and strengthening ourselves as individuals so we can be an asset to others. Tonight instead of thoughts I’m sharing a link. Complete the survey, reflect on the results, and consider ways to intentionally incorporate your “gift” into daily practice.

Spiritual Gifts Survey

The unimaginable year

Posted on by
Reply

Twelve months, three hundred sixty five days.

For most people this is a period of highs and lows with quite a few forgettable moments sandwiched in between. The change of seasons provide opportunities for varying degrees of engagement, often pre-planned but not exempt from spur of the moment pleasure. There’s an expectation that every day won’t be sunshine and laughter but the belief is that the majority will……what happens when your year takes a turn for the worst with no sign of normalcy in the forecast?

Covid-19 wrecked havoc on the lives of many. It wasn’t discriminatory, it didn’t have a preference, it wasn’t favorable of weather conditions nor was it considerate of previously made plans. To be frank, it was hell on earth.

Nearly a million people died as a result of a virus! I feel blessed that my life and that of those nearest and dearest to me were spared but I heavily grieve the loss of too many precious people. Watching the news became depressing, being a healthcare worker caused angst, and the thought of answering an incoming call triggered anxiety attacks. At times I felt like I needed to run away but there was no where to go. Outside, as I knew it, had closed and although the entire country was dealing with the same fate coping wasn’t easy.

While attempting to exist in this new norm of Zoom meetings, mask wearing, social distancing, and hand sanitizer in abundance I was forced to fall back on an old belief, prayer! I prayed for myself and my family / friends, that sickness wouldn’t enter our homes. I prayed for strangers, that their lost of income wouldn’t create financial ruin. I prayed for souls loss, that they’d be welcomed into heaven to sit at the foot of The Most High. I prayed for grieving families unable to come together in celebration of the life their loved one lived. I prayed, I prayed, I prayed……

Throughout this past twelve months, three hundred sixty five days I’ve adjusted to the new norm. The things of new don’t seem impossible anymore and the things of old have found a place in every day practice. My morning starts and my evening ends the same way, in prayer.

I’ve started asking myself if it’s possible that the great states of America, and the rest of the world, forgot the importance of prayer. If maybe our arrogance built by free will had placed us in harms way and we were too filled with modern day beliefs to realize we were headed into catastrophe. Is it possible that we became so busy with meetings and life that we forgot to sit down with family and simply exist?

I loss a cousin in Atlanta from complications of Covid and news of her passing shook me to my core, but not because of her death. I checked my phone to see the last time I text her and found no call log. I checked messenger to see if I had sent her a message and years had passed since our last conversation. I had become too busy to keep in touch with someone that’s no longer here. I had to make peace with that reality, and that was a difficult task.

Covid has been hell but it has also been a great teacher. We can’t do yesterday over and tomorrow isn’t promised so live today as if it is your last. Reach out to that person you haven’t talked to, forgive that person that hurt you, and most importantly make time and take time for yourself, unapologetically!

The key to your happiness

Posted on by
Reply

For my birthday last year I asked everyone to share something with me they’ve never stated. It could be via letter, email, or text. Out of the multitude of friends / family / associates that had access to my request the number of responses I received were few in number.

Those that took the time to respond provided some valuable feedback, some of which lead to the formation of this blog. All of the feedback had me feeling like I’m a pretty amazing human! The words of a few even inflated my ego and not one person shared a negative sentiment – which brings me to today’s thought…….

I asked for letters so I could do a self analysis prior to turning 50 this year. I wanted to know what I’ve done well so that I could build upon those behaviors and what I’ve done poorly so I could correct those actions. What I learned is that I already knew what I do well, I already knew who would respond, and aside from a couple of surprises I was dead on. What I didn’t realize is that I subconsciously wanted a specific individual in my life to respond. I wanted that individual to share sentiments never spoken. I wanted …….. so much so that I burst my own bubble of happiness by questioning why I didn’t receive that which I asked for.

How often do we grant someone custody of our joy? I’d argue that if we sit and think about it the answer is too often.

I’m caring, I’m thoughtful, I’m engaging, I’m always there for others, I’m a confidant and a protector of those I care about. I know that I am because multiple people confirmed that’s who I am. People told me what I already knew about myself and it felt good to know that my perception of self is accurate but all of that wasn’t enough because one person didn’t say so.

The area that requires improvement wasn’t spoken, it was realized. My internal and external response to not getting a letter from that person showed a flaw within me, something that needs correction. My happiness isn’t given to me by man so how had I allowed man to chip away at it?

How often do you have a good day until someone comes along and ruins it? How many times have you been excited about plans you made then changed them to suit the interest of someone else? How many times have you questioned your greatness because no one else acknowledged it? If you can relate to any of these scenarios you, much like myself, need to take back control of your happiness.

You know who you are, you’ve been living with yourself for a long time. Who you are is enough – even if that person never says so! I’m going to continue being who I am, who those whose lives I’ve touched say I am.

Do a self analysis of who you are. Build upon the good, correct the bad, converse with a higher power (mine is God), and don’t allow joy killers residency in your heart nor mind!

That person never shared a sentiment, and to this day, almost 90 days after my birthday, still hasn’t and guess what… I’m ok with that!