Tag Archives: #HeadoftheTable

Stay In Your Lane Lisa!

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The year was 2010, I believe the month to have been August. My cousin passed and my family from near and far gathered to celebrate her life.

The service was intimate and upbeat while the message primarily focused on her longevity and the lives she touched. I recall feeling a sense of peace, which was odd because she was the sixth immediate relative to be buried in ten months. I’ve often referred to that as the worst year my family has had to endure, worst being defined by the number of people we loss.

I cope with death by mentally making sense out of it. I’ll tell myself “they lived a good life”, “they’re no longer suffering”, “they can rest now” … and for the most part the sting is lessened. I recognize death approaching and start coaching myself in advance, so it won’t catch me off guard. I prepare myself!

As of late I’ve been battling with a fear of being unprepared. It’s a fear caused by the current homicide rate on target to be higher than it has ever been. It’s a fear caused by outwardly expressions of racism and hatred. It’s a fear caused by my love for the men in my life, all black men for that matter. It’s a fear caused by major illness developing earlier in life. It’s a fear I’ve not yet been able to develop a coping mechanism against.

The message of longevity is no longer relative ……. and I don’t know how to prepare for that!

I’m thinking this through as I write, because as you know this blog is a compilation of my thoughts, and it has occurred to me that maybe I’m not supposed to prepare. Maybe I should process death as it occurs and deal with the associated emotions at that appointed time. Maybe trying to prepare is stepping into territory I have no control over…….

Wait a minute, could that be my true fear – not having control?

Oh Lisa, you silly girl….. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells you “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. How can you prepare for something that’s predestined?

(1) Stay grounded in your faith, whatever that may be. (2) Pray for strength and understanding (3) Recognize that which you can’t control and focus on what you can. (4) Put good into the atmosphere (5) Trust that you’re going to be ok, even when things aren’t ok. (6) Pray for others

In other words, Stay in your lane Lisa!

Head of the Table

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I wore a brand item of my favorite WWE wrestler today. It’s a black shirt with white letters and the slogan “Head of the Table” I posted a picture of myself captioned “few will get it” without providing additional details.

Two people outright told me they didn’t get it and asked what it referenced, my response was to send them a picture of Roman Reigns wearing his signature shirt. Someone else joked of me being out of pocket (refer to Urban Dictionary if you don’t know what that means). Not one person commented of the strength of the statement.

Roman is the head of his family – the alpha dog if you will. He’s faster, stronger and the most popular at THIS time. I place emphasis on “this” because Roman comes from a long line of wrestlers. You may not follow WWE but I’m sure you’ve heard of his cousin Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

In addition to being a crowd favorite turned villain, Roman is also a survivor! He stepped away from wrestling a couple of years ago to make his health a priority and came back even stronger after beating his biggest opponent, leukemia.

In addition to all of that, the man is perfectly created – but that has nothing to do with this story.

This is about his brand slogan and why I am drawn to it. “Head of the Table” speaks to me. It screams accountability and provision. It shouts consideration and preparation. It also whispers brother’s / sister’s keeper.

When it comes to my life I am the final answer regarding my time (unless my mother overrides). If I eat no one with me will go hungry and anything at my disposal is shared freely with those in my village.

A few years ago I was at a Dunkin Donuts and a homeless woman asked me for money. I told her I wouldn’t give her cash but she could order something from the menu and I’d pay for it. She ordered the most expensive item on the menu, which honestly caused me to raise an eyebrow, but I said I’d pay for it and I did. Upon leaving the store I noticed her go behind a trash dumpster and from my car I saw her distributing the food to two children. At that moment I did what the “head of the table” would do and went back into the store and ordered another meal so that she too could eat.

Accountability and Provision – Consideration and Preparation are mindsets! To be your brother’s / sister’s keeper is a responsibility. I wear Roman’s shirt as a fan but its meaning is so much more!