There’s a family secret invading households that doesn’t show discrimination – financial security doesn’t exempt you – gender preference doesn’t protect you – race nor religion won’t make the battle less difficult!

This secret damages self esteem and morale leaving hurt along its path. If ignored or swept under the rug long enough the battle passes down from generation to generation, terrorizing bloodlines.

For today’s thought I spoke to someone near and dear to my heart about her struggle with alcohol. I’ve celebrated her best and supported her through her worst, never truly understanding what her worst looked like behind closed doors. She’s my cousin but more like a sister, here is a glimpse into her life as an alcoholic.

Q: How did you know you had a problem with alcohol?

A: There were times I would say I wasn’t going to drink today or this week then next thing I knew I was drinking. I graduated from casually wanting a drink to needing a drink to function daily. I lost self control! The first of the twelve steps as it relates to Alcoholics Anonymous is to admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our life has become unmanageable.

Q: How has addiction affected your family?

A: I’m well loved and cared for and I know this for sure! My mom told me I needed to get help probably everyday. She threatened to have my kids taken from me, the whole nine yards, lol! My concern came when I could no longer be in denial about how my children were being affected. I was present physically but mentally and emotionally I was not there for them. At the end of the day everyone has a suggestion and or opinion, especially from the outside looking in, but none of that mattered until I began to dislike the person I had become.

Q: What was your breaking point?

A: My rock bottom was blacking out: not being able to remember long moments of time, phone calls being made, text being sent, ordering take out for the kids dinner, cussing people out for no reason other than me being drunk (although it is said a drunk tongue speaks a sober heart) so maybe they did deserve it – but seriously blacking out did it for me because I could only imagine it getting worse if it continued. Then there were the constant hangovers and uncontrollable shakes, yup all that going on became too much! Drinking was no longer pleasurable, my tolerance was increasing and it became an expensive habit.

Q: What does “one day at a time” look like in your life?

A: Simply put, just as I feel about the first step it means exactly what it says one day at a time – but for me there are moments when its one second, one minute, one hour at a time so each day is monumental for sure when you are an addict. It’s also the inspiration for my next tattoo and a possible name for my business venture.

Q: What advice can you provide someone struggling with alcoholism?

A: Find YOUR reason and believe in a higher power, something / someone higher than yourself – allow that to guide and motivate you. Do not allow yourself to be pressured, forced, manipulated or guilt tripped into seeking help IF you’re not ready. Its your journey and yours alone no matter how big your support system is (which is a beautiful thing, mine is da bomb). No one is in control of your sobriety but you! Keep in mind relapse is a part of sobriety as well so if that happens, tomorrow is a new day!

Cindy Maria is the mother of two and a Glam-ma of two. She’s born and raised in Philadelphia and the oldest of four children. In addition to making her business concept a reality she works full time and rarely misses an opportunity to create memories with family and friends. I thank her for allowing me to share her truth, in hopes of helping someone else.

If you or someone you love is an alcoholic and ready to get help please visit: http://www.aa.org