I woke up this morning filled with hope for the new year, only to turn on the news and hear of 12 shootings in the city and 3 deaths after the clock struck midnight.

My angst was worsened when I logged onto FB and saw a video from a friend. He posted that he received word that someone he knew and loved passed away and there had been strife between them which resulted in them not speaking for a few years.

I offered my condolences, read today’s scripture, and sent out a few greetings only to log back on and see another friend post about losing a friend this morning. One of the 3 people snatched from the world by gun violence was a dear friend of his, of theirs.

Last year ended with a record number of homicides, and by 3 am we had logged the equivalent of 1 per hour. My hope, dissipated! I went back to the scripture for today hoping to find encouragement, and it did not disappoint:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

If roaming through wastelands fresh water can be found, if you know what to look for. If lost in the wilderness, civilization can be found if you know what signs to follow. When faced with unimaginable acts of violence, peace can be found if you know what source to tap into! The scripture says “I am doing a NEW thing” …… while the new year is starting off with the same degree of ugliness that the last ended with there’s hope!

I pray for all who are affected by loss at this time. I understand that they’re unable to see hope in the midst of their grief so I pray strength for them. I pray their comfort. I pray their healing. Lord I believe in You and await the new thing that’s promised.

Happy New Year! In God I believe it to be so!

Today was one of the most difficult days of my life. It started out as any other morning, talking to a friend while driving to the office. As I drove down Haines I caught a small framed person, I believed to be a child, laying on a brick wall – head propped up on a pink backpack – still.

There was an older gentleman that pulled over and I noticed he was on the phone, I assumed calling EMS. As I continued to drive a feeling of something being terribly wrong came over me and I mentioned to my friend that I needed to turn around – to see if there was anything I could do to help in that moment.

It seemed to take forever for me to make my way back to the corner but I arrived at the same time fire and rescue pulled up, the small framed person laying in the same place – still!

The range of emotions I went through for the next couple of hours can’t be explained, but I clearly recall feeling guilt and blame. Guilt because I passed by at first and blame as if I were the person with a remedy.

My mother activated a team to get hands on me until she could get to me, my work family covered me in prayer, and I uncontrollably wept.

I don’t know the outcome of the still soul laying on the brick wall, head propped on a pink backpack – but I’m confident that the man on the phone was who God intended to be there.

My instinct will always be to help, at times to the degree of mentally and physically overwhelming myself …. I’m so thankful that the Lord protected me from myself today. While I wanted to go back and help it definitely would have been a lot for me to process mentally, honestly the image of that still human laying on the wall – head resting on a pink backpack is too much!

I can rest tonight because I know people prayed for me, but before I slumber in peace I’ll pray for the man on the phone – that he too is comfortably resting.

I haven’t sat down to write in quite awhile. It’s not because I’ve abandoned the love of writing, nor has my desire to encourage others changed. If I’m completely transparent, I haven’t sat down to write because I’ve been preoccupied with other things.

Some might say that’s a good thing but as I sit still on this cold and rainy night in October I question if running is ever a solution.

This blog was birthed during a period of quarantine and isolation. I had to write to keep from losing my mind but as soon as minor freedoms were once again afforded I jumped back into a going, doing, being routine.

I have a habit of running from growth, that’s my thing, you’ll have to identify what yours is! I believe the pandemic was the proper time for the creation of Simply Lisa. I trusted that instinct enough to act upon it. I put the pieces in place and left them on the table chasing what, when, and where.

Tonight I issue a challenge to myself, and that is stop running from all that is Lisa. I also challenge anyone who reads this to stop running from their destiny! You know what you’re called to do but just like me you allow people, places, and things control of your time by being more to and for them than you are to yourself.

The success of Simply Lisa rests upon my shoulders, and with the Lord’s help I will fulfill my purpose.

I’m taking a journey today to a place not far in physical distance but miles removed from my mind. My journey requires that I acknowledge my flaws and imperfections, and simply put own my wrongs.

If I could chart the outcome there wouldn’t be tense nor awkward moments in time – but this I can’t control.

Today I step out on trust, that all things will work out for the better – faith, that regardless of the outcome I’m going to be ok – and a belief that what’s to come is controlled by a higher power.

This is one of those “I’ll never” situations with a “but you will” ending – Silly me for ever thinking I wouldn’t!

Lord, I come to you at this minute, in the middle of the day, to ask for your healing presence to sweep the land. Your children are struggling and in need of a break, mentally and physically!

The trauma of life loss has become common practice, creating a void of your love being felt throughout generations. The hurt of individuals is being passed down, creating a culture of despair.

Lord you’re the solution to gun violence, you are peace in a bad situation, you are recovery to the troubled soul trying to kick a habit that’s taken control, you are the great I am – and I am in need of your presence!

The past few days have presented people who have lost their passion to live, remove the spirit of suicide from the earth Lord!

Covid is regaining strength and science nor medicine have been able to combat it, fix it Lord!

I ask not this prayer only for myself but for every and anyone affected / impacted by depression, grief, illness, and addiction. Continue to bless me Lord! Keep those surrounding me covered and for those I don’t know, may my prayer protect them as well!

This I ask in your name, AMEN!!!

Simply: (adverb) in a straightforward or plain manner

I’ve been giving thought to what it means to simply be – actually, I’ve been questioning if simply is enough or if I should strive to be more.

Someone recently asked why I chose “Simply Lisa” as a descriptor. The implication was that it’s not catchy enough and rather unworthy of attention. I chuckle as I write this because that pretty much sums up my existence.

I don’t effortlessly project glitz and glam, although I’m consistently complimented on how photogenic I am. I’m not the woman that travels in a pack; however, my friendships have been long term and meaningful. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the room but I’ll most definitely stand confidently beside her, comfortable in the shadows but not afraid of the spotlight.

I’ve had numerous conversations with myself about the evolution of Lisa. At times I’ve come up with an elaborate outline of existence – only to retreat back to a more simple blueprint.

My desire isn’t to impact the world – there’s a little girl crying her eyes out right now because someone told her she was ugly, she’s my target audience! I don’t crave a seat at the table with greatness – I want to sit and converse with women in need of camaraderie exchanging knowledge and crushing fears.

Who I was, who I am, who I strive to be – Simply Lisa, that’s me.

I’m unwinding for the evening and questioning how many chances God gives us. This is on my mind because I believe the dysfunctions of my family are testing the depths of His patience, and I’m not trying to be on the receiving end of wrath.

I’m sure there’s someone reading this thought hoping for steamy tea, sorry to disappoint but I’m not serving any!

This thought is less about who and what and more about when. When will the hammer of lessons yet to be learned drop? When will we recognize a pattern of dysfunction and make both individual and group corrections to our daily living? When (insert your situation here).

In my life separation is best!  I don’t strive to be a part of forced gatherings, I don’t desire to play nice, I don’t care to be the bigger person. I simply want peace!

Interesting thing about family, you’ll be related if you speak once a day or once a year. Stray away from family mess, do right by yourself, and what you can for others. Don’t internalize the dysfunctions, that only pulls you away from serenity.

To answer my initial question – God gives us another chance with each waking. When in doubt choose the peaceful route – it’ll prove purposeful when wrath comes for you.

I spent the past week away from my daily norm. I went to a familiar place and took in rest and relaxation. During that moment of solitude the following epiphany revealed itself: Stop going places where you’re not wanted!

To bring this in a little closer, it’s taught that you have to spend time with family because they’re not yours to choose, at least in my family it was. You’re expected to come together in one accord even when the only peaceful harmony that’s ever existed between you is distance.

I’ve often questioned if there were no blood line that existed between myself and others would we have connected individually, often times my answer has been no.

I’ve searched within and asked if I’ve presented the best version of myself while in their presence, once again I must answer no – I’ve presented who I am and if I expect that to be good enough for the world it darn sure needs to be good enough for family.

Who I am is strong willed, assertive, and outspoken – I make no apologies for this because I’ve come a long way from the girl that believed she was ugly an dared not to stand out in a crowd.

Who I am is also caring, supportive, and loving – I protect this aspect of myself at all cost because the unhappiness of others is on a seek and destroy mission to kill the joy within those that surround them.

I’m not coming where I’m unwanted! Not because it’s family – not because someone will talk about my absence, truth be told they’re going to talk about my presence too. I’m not being family to individuals that have never tried to be family to me. I’m just not doing it!

It’s important that you’re a protector of your peace, even from those within your bloodline. Be unapologetic, be intentional, most importantly be absent from places where you’re unwanted – family not exempt.

You are more than enough!

Through your flaws and imperfections – on good and bad days – whether emotions are running high or sitting low – if the world acknowledges your presence or your shadow goes unnoticed by all who pass by ……… you are more than enough!