I sit tonight reflecting on the sorrow that surrounds this time of year. There is something about this season that tugs at my heartstrings, something with the potential to overpower me and create mental ruin, something that has unsuccessfully tried for several years to break me, yet here I stand!

Thinking back over my life, the first seasonal blow I recall was about thirty-seven years ago, on December 26th to be exact. That was the day my grandmother passed away. Her death and burial are a story for another time, but I now recognize a pattern formed after that traumatic day.

About twenty-six years ago I was introduced to relatives I had never met. I recall the day vividly because it was on my birthday and I accompanied my parents to my cousin’s. funeral. Fast forward to today, my birthday also shares the transitional anniversary of another cousin.

I will skip through the dejected details of sorrow-filled similarities but for those of you into numbers, I will provide some dates of significance: 111, 718, 1105,1215, 1221, 1226, 1229, and 1230. (Good luck)

I previously mentioned I still stand, which is true and I know to whom thanks are due for my steadfastness, but I recognize others may not be existentially tapped in and that creates a space for addiction, depression, and other dark forces to manifest.

With that in mind, here is my thought for tonight: dates have purposeful meaning that can and will consume you if your focus is not redirected.

If you find yourself fighting to find joy through the holiday season, I challenge you to identify the date/dates associated with the struggle and change the narrative. In my case, I can’t bring my loved ones back but I can reflect more on the happy moments life afforded us and less on the loss. In what ways can you reset and refocus?