Have you ever tightly held onto a truth due to uncertainty and fear? If you’re like me you’ve analyzed every possible outcome and made the decision that keeping it in would be best – but is it?

I’ve held things in for years, literally. Others recognized what was obviously clear, yet I denied and deflected – until I no longer could!

It’s interesting how one can go from having it all together to realizing it’s being held together by a thread. Funny thing, even then I minimally shared – just enough to justify the outcome I’d envisioned.

Once the truth was spoken I could no longer fabricate. The very sound of my voice made the experience real, and real makes space for hurt! Isn’t that why we hold onto the truth so tightly from start, because we knew it would result in pain?

I’m sitting here tonight wondering why, if I had already created a pain filled finale, why did I delay the inevitable?

I think it’s possible that I held on so tightly that I created my own pain. I hid from reality assuming I knew what was best, when others knew better. As a child there’s someone to warn you against danger, as an adult you’re left to your own understanding – and that’s a dangerous place to dwell if you close your mind.

I’ve taken a chance I swore I’d never take and spoke words I said I’d never speak. The immediate outcome hurts a little but the freedom feels good! I don’t want to predict the end game, I’m not interested in playing out the scenarios, I simply want to exist in the moment! I let go of the choke hold on my truth, allowing me room to flourish – tonight my heart soars, never to be caged again.