The last text I sent read “You crossed my mind today so I wanted to say hello. I hope you’re well! Happy New Year….” – its status still says “delivered”

I’d grown accustomed to maybe getting a response, but I made a promise that I’d never completely remove myself from his life and the occasional message was all I had to offer.

When his health, or arrogance, didn’t allow him to respond that “read” status alerted me that his eyes saw my thoughts – and that was always enough.

I recently learned that his health has declined and that message I sent can’t currently and may never be seen. I’ve prepared myself for that call, and I’m ready – way’ell more ready than I was when cancer appeared a few years ago.

I’m reminded of the importance of telling people they’re loved while they are able to receive the message. I’m reminded of the importance of documentation, and thankful for years of messages between us to reflect on.

Our unconventional friendship taught me a lot about myself and forced me to lean on my faith for understanding. When nothing seemed to make sense “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” gave me peace. When I convinced myself that I was being punished for actions of past “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” was my comfort.

I’ve silently had a headache since yesterday, if I’m honest it’s probably heartache that’s caused elevation of my blood pressure resulting in a headache …. either way I recognize it! “My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief”

I’ve kept my word, and whenever that next call comes I’m ready! “To be absent from the body AND to be present with the Lord” …..that’s a reason to celebrate life!