I’ve been neglecting myself recently and today I’m feeling the side effects. It’s imperative that I write, it’s the only way to clear the traffic jam in my head. I told myself I wouldn’t blog if I didn’t have something to say, but maybe that’s when I need to write.

Things have been going really well in my life – I might dare say I’m happy. There’s a smile on my face and joy in my heart but my thoughts aren’t connected. There’s a dark cloud of inadequacy lingering, steadily growing and causing mental strain.

What’s odd, there’s no reason to explain this feeling, what’s scary – it’s those unexplainable feelings that draw people into dark spaces.

I found myself emotional at work today over a common (daily) complaint. I handle this type of call everyday but on this day I couldn’t, thankfully there was someone available to receive the hand-off. The temporary breakdown resulted in me questioning my place within a company I’ve worked for twenty years, friendships I’ve enjoyed, even my purpose………. all this over a problem I can resolve in my sleep?

{exhale} something I don’t do often enough is handoff. I ask for little; therefore, I deserve much – but you’ll rarely hear me ask for help. I can do all things, but every human needs rest. I’ve worked myself tired, tired of being friend – tired of being coworker – tired of being dependable – tired of being concerned – tired of being considerate, just tired!

I need to rest – I need to recharge – I need to speak the words help me into the atmosphere when I require assistance – I need to write, I need to clear my thoughts, I need to protect myself from the pressures of perfection I put on myself. I need to take time / make time for me. I need to SIMPLY be LISA!