Stress is, trying to plan a birthday celebration and not being able to move beyond the thought process because years of disappointment has dimmed the expectation of enjoyment.

Disappointment has been created by elements beyond my control. Things like being a winter baby and the unpredictable weather that comes along with that and having a December birthday and getting lost in the holiday hustle.

This birthday deserves more than the club party I enjoyed at twenty-five! I’ve evolved beyond the jeans and boots era and this celebration has to reflect that – somewhat, because the beat of the music still needs to make the floor shake.

I’ve found a few venues for consideration and talked myself out of each one. The reasons for not booking have been justified but as I’m clearing my head of this thought I have to question if I’m preemptively sabotaging my plans to avoid disappointment.

I’ve been focused on ample parking so the attendees won’t be inconvenienced and close proximity so weather conditions won’t be a hindrance – stressing over is actually a more accurate descriptor. Very little thought has been put into what I want, and that’s simply a celebration of my life.

If this thought belonged to someone else my advice would sound like this: plan your party for yourself, those that want to be there will make a way. Don’t skimp on any details because you deserve the best. For once, make yourself a priority and enjoy the fruits of your labor. You ask for little so you deserve much, from others but most importantly from yourself.