It’s a spoken rule that healthcare workers shouldn’t form an attachment to patients. The ideology behind it is understood; however, not logical. On average, a patient with chronic conditions will come into their internist office four times per year – more if they require specialized care. Their pattern becomes familiar and in general conversation you’re bound to share something that unites you.

I’m currently a twenty year employee with fifteen being in the same office. I’ve met a few people that I despise, some I truly like, and a few that I love. My bad days can generally be cross-referenced with a schedule filled with despicable beings, or the loss of a beloved. Today was a loss ……

There’s a place in my heart that holds the memories of the soul that lost her battle against mental health disorder, another place is reserved for my warriors that battled cancer, and more spaces are occupied by the angels that were simply tired and gained eternal rest. There’s a few that gave me no time to prepare and some that came as a relief. Each loss has been different, but impactful.

Today’s loss is a celebration of a man that was ready for his transition. When the news hit my coworkers immediately asked if I was ok (I’ve admittedly not handled a few deaths well) my response was simply, yea I’m good – and I am but I’m heavily in my feelings.

Tomorrow I’ll try not to attach – tomorrow I’ll try to maintain employee focus, but I’m not making any promises. I understand why healthcare workers shouldn’t form an attachment to patients, however I’m living proof that it’s not logical!