The year was 2010, I believe the month to have been August. My cousin passed and my family from near and far gathered to celebrate her life.

The service was intimate and upbeat while the message primarily focused on her longevity and the lives she touched. I recall feeling a sense of peace, which was odd because she was the sixth immediate relative to be buried in ten months. I’ve often referred to that as the worst year my family has had to endure, worst being defined by the number of people we loss.

I cope with death by mentally making sense out of it. I’ll tell myself “they lived a good life”, “they’re no longer suffering”, “they can rest now” … and for the most part the sting is lessened. I recognize death approaching and start coaching myself in advance, so it won’t catch me off guard. I prepare myself!

As of late I’ve been battling with a fear of being unprepared. It’s a fear caused by the current homicide rate on target to be higher than it has ever been. It’s a fear caused by outwardly expressions of racism and hatred. It’s a fear caused by my love for the men in my life, all black men for that matter. It’s a fear caused by major illness developing earlier in life. It’s a fear I’ve not yet been able to develop a coping mechanism against.

The message of longevity is no longer relative ……. and I don’t know how to prepare for that!

I’m thinking this through as I write, because as you know this blog is a compilation of my thoughts, and it has occurred to me that maybe I’m not supposed to prepare. Maybe I should process death as it occurs and deal with the associated emotions at that appointed time. Maybe trying to prepare is stepping into territory I have no control over…….

Wait a minute, could that be my true fear – not having control?

Oh Lisa, you silly girl….. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells you “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. How can you prepare for something that’s predestined?

(1) Stay grounded in your faith, whatever that may be. (2) Pray for strength and understanding (3) Recognize that which you can’t control and focus on what you can. (4) Put good into the atmosphere (5) Trust that you’re going to be ok, even when things aren’t ok. (6) Pray for others

In other words, Stay in your lane Lisa!