For my birthday last year I asked everyone to share something with me they’ve never stated. It could be via letter, email, or text. Out of the multitude of friends / family / associates that had access to my request the number of responses I received were few in number.

Those that took the time to respond provided some valuable feedback, some of which lead to the formation of this blog. All of the feedback had me feeling like I’m a pretty amazing human! The words of a few even inflated my ego and not one person shared a negative sentiment – which brings me to today’s thought…….

I asked for letters so I could do a self analysis prior to turning 50 this year. I wanted to know what I’ve done well so that I could build upon those behaviors and what I’ve done poorly so I could correct those actions. What I learned is that I already knew what I do well, I already knew who would respond, and aside from a couple of surprises I was dead on. What I didn’t realize is that I subconsciously wanted a specific individual in my life to respond. I wanted that individual to share sentiments never spoken. I wanted …….. so much so that I burst my own bubble of happiness by questioning why I didn’t receive that which I asked for.

How often do we grant someone custody of our joy? I’d argue that if we sit and think about it the answer is too often.

I’m caring, I’m thoughtful, I’m engaging, I’m always there for others, I’m a confidant and a protector of those I care about. I know that I am because multiple people confirmed that’s who I am. People told me what I already knew about myself and it felt good to know that my perception of self is accurate but all of that wasn’t enough because one person didn’t say so.

The area that requires improvement wasn’t spoken, it was realized. My internal and external response to not getting a letter from that person showed a flaw within me, something that needs correction. My happiness isn’t given to me by man so how had I allowed man to chip away at it?

How often do you have a good day until someone comes along and ruins it? How many times have you been excited about plans you made then changed them to suit the interest of someone else? How many times have you questioned your greatness because no one else acknowledged it? If you can relate to any of these scenarios you, much like myself, need to take back control of your happiness.

You know who you are, you’ve been living with yourself for a long time. Who you are is enough – even if that person never says so! I’m going to continue being who I am, who those whose lives I’ve touched say I am.

Do a self analysis of who you are. Build upon the good, correct the bad, converse with a higher power (mine is God), and don’t allow joy killers residency in your heart nor mind!

That person never shared a sentiment, and to this day, almost 90 days after my birthday, still hasn’t and guess what… I’m ok with that!